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November 14, 2005
progress
Current mood: accomplished
we just recorded drums for one of the songs i did while tommi was in hong
kong earlier this year, so yay! it actually went very smoothly for once,
maybe cuz we spent some a couple weeks preparing the parts out and getting
them good and practiced. i'm still trying to finish up the song from august
that was maybe supposed to have something to do with that masters of horror
thing which is not happening with regards to us, which is fine, whatever.
hopefully we should have both of these new songs up on here in about a
week, as my next day off is friday. they're both pretty mellow and emo-ish,
ha ha, not really. maybe we will finish the record sometime soon after
all.
-e
October 23, 2005
status
Current mood: sick
i am turning 27 shortly. death year death year death year! fortunately
i have no musical talent.
we’re still trying to get it together. we moved into a new house
in gayland in sf, iz ok. i work way too much right now, and tommi not
at all. iz a mess. anyway, the record is still not done. looking at feb
2006 for now. always four months away! we’ve got 11 songs done,
four that need drums, and i guess i wanna write 2 or 3 more new things.
wanna do some straight-up evil dance pop, i know, probably a bad idea.
wanna make more noise. really this record is not experimental enough.
sux. will post a new song here soon when i got the vocals done proper.
-e
8.17.05
the happenings. been doing a lot of music lately, quite music, cuz of
this damn stupid apartment we’ll be stuck in for about another month.
some of it may end up as the soundtrack for a horror movie type project,
though we ain’t holding our breath. either way, i’ve come
up with more than a few new songs, and made some progress by finishing
a couple others that had been kicking around. i’d say the new record
is still only about 80 percent done, not quite sure what’s gonna
go on it altogether, but it this point, my goal is to just keep working,
since i’m not that busy during the day.
listening to the Juan Maclean. also acquire the new adult. cd that doesn’t come out until october. also download was is purported to be a fake version of the new boards of canada album. not quite sure if it is fake, but it seems to lack their subtle nature and sounds a bit sloppy, though it’s not bad...
6.16.05
two new songs have been uploaded to our myspace
page, cuz i’m too lazy to put them up here, check it out:
http://www.myspace.com/parae
the new songs are JAZZ and THE FAILED MUSICIAN,
and are pretty fucking good i reckon.
tommi returns from hong kong next week and i have
at the moment three complete tunes ready for drums, which is about half
of what i wanted ready. but having some new software such as digital performer
4.5 has made work quite a bit easier. like i should have upgraded to this
shit ages ago!
as of late i’ve been obsessed with Suede and Primal Scream.
5.4.05
we gots nine incredible songs done at this point. that makes somewhere between 2/3 to 3/4 a record, for sure. all interested parties wanting a piece of the pie, hit us up now, cuz this be the album of the year, pitchfork girlies, just wait, if it be getting finished, that’s right bitches. i speak with bias and truth. these tunes be pretty alright. play ‘em hella loud while yr on intoxicated or on drugs, for sure. fuck it.
4.30.05
tommi is in hong kong until late june at the moment doing family stuff, hopefully will return with art for eventual cd and be ready to drum like hell. i be working on songs, trying to write new material with slightly less mental blockage. probably do some restructuring of site elements, depending on my laziness qoutient. the new songs are very good.
2.9.05
we have been working on recording and practicing. we have one new song done actually. we have a new song with drums worked out that need to be recorded which is very very very good. we may play some shows soon. trying to finish songs of high quality for a record. must put together a fucking press pack, so annoying. did my taxes today, need $2500, and just as i paid off my fucking credit cards.
11.25.04
so, i recorded a 4 song demo for the oakland band
Dyspecific about a month ago, seems like they were happy with how it turned
out. one of the songs will be in the Moonstomping short movie my friends
are doing. they’re like a queer punk band with a trumpet player,
pretty cool stuff. the song i liked most sounded like Siouxsie and the
Banshees - good SatB at that.
i’ve had a lot of writers block, which i
realized was related to the fact that i wasn’t playing much guitar
or music for that matter. since then i’ve made more of an effort
and come up with several probably too ambitious ideas. finding time to
record with my work schedule and procrastination issues has been challenging
though. i did a noise type piece that just needs some polishing a few
weeks back, so perhaps i’ll share that at some point. it’d
be cool to do more noise stuff. my new plan of attack is avoid all of
my rules i fall into as to how stuff should sound. tommi wants to do stuff
that is funkier and dancier. i’m like ok, but it’d be nice
to finish the unfinished tunes first. i’d like to do more songs
like the ambisexual track, but i’m not sure if i can materialize
such. it’d fun to just rip off the boredoms full time.
i’m listening to Brian Wilson’s Smile. i really don’t know if i can get into this shit, and think maybe i should have downloaded it rather than buying the thing for twenty bucks. all the vocals just fucking freak me out, and it’s so happy. i got curious after watching this documentary about it called beautiful dreamer, though i have never really ever been into the beach boys. tommi was like why did i buy this when i’ll never listen to it, so i’m trying to listen to it. the new rufus wainwright is cool though, i didn’t even know it was coming out until the day it was released, a very nice surprise.
9.27.04
this was done a week ago.
rather than write a song about the hackdom of others
as i see on a nightly basis at the jazz club, i felt it more poignant
to superimpose the concept of hack upon myself, for why else, i’m
the only one who fails to comprehend how much my music sucks and how clearly,
while perhaps well meaning, i am in fact just a hack, never was nothing,
never gonna be - though what is there really - dreams of 14 year olds
of rock stardom, monetary income, artistic achievement, overtly self conscious
displays of sonic masturbation. thematically mixed in with duality towards
failures to find idealized satisfaction with personal relationships and
such, probably too much is really left in implied, but that is the idea,
to imply hackishness, superimpose yr own disappointments. a very easy
song to write and record for the most part, though still a bit more time
consuming than it should have been.
we saw the pixies today, i liked the shirts that
said PIXIES SELLOUT with the tour dates. though clearly a sellout, they
seemed to be genuinely having fun, and so did the audience, and very much
myself! i liked the new song, and very much look forward to a new album
at some point, as it would probably be something i listen to more than
3 times, which is not a pleasure i can attest to the last 3 frank black
solo records. so blah.
listening to the boredoms...cuz i need to find inspiration.
9.10.04
here is the latest, forever delayed:
ripping off - sonic youth, boredoms, !!!, adult.,
prong, etc. oh if only it was all so much easier. the first 80% was cake,
finding the rest was such a process, and many days of drum sessions. it
seems like it needs maybe a little bit more, but my computer can’t
handle anymore processing or tracks on this one, so i quit. fake dance-punk
for all-y’all.
and yes, we’ve come to the conclusion that
Robert Smith was probably just really really stoned when we met him, it’s
still lame, but whatever.
listening to the Ramones anthology thing.
8.30.04
SO WE MET ROBERT SMITH AND TOTALLY WEIRDED
HIM OUT.
we went to the CURIOSA festival thing yesterday
in sacramento with ex-band grrrl Erin. it was pretty cool and bizarre.
the verdict:
Mogwai - mesmerizing
The Rapture - sucked
Interpol - reasonable (though they only have one song, and they play it
over and over)
The Cure - ok, so Erin somehow knew one of the
sound guys through like her mom’s church or some shit and we met
up with him by the second stage and got VIP passes for the after party.
and then she was like let me go find him again, maybe he can get us down
onto the floor, cuz our seats were kinda high up and far away. so she
finds him, we go out to the 2nd stage, see some of Cursive, who would
have been good if the lyrics and singer weren’t so awful. and lo
and behold, he escorts us down to the floor and we end up watching the
Cure play from like a reasonable distance. the show was good, a bit short,
but fun, they played a lot of new stuff, a lot of disentegration, some
of the hits, and a song each from Faith and Pornography.
The Afterparty - so we’re trying to find
out where the afterparty is, cuz we got these VIP passes and shit, so
we’re supposed to meet the dude outside, but then we see other people
going inside with the passes so we follow them. turns out that it is in
some shit called the Crown Royal Club, basically under the bleachers inside
the arena. so we’re running after everybody to get in, cuz security
is like, nope yr too late, blah blah blah. so we get there, find erin
(who ran ahead!), and like there is all this free beer and wine. so we
start pounding a couple beers, see the keyboardist from the Cure, and
eventually the guitarist, out mingling amongst the various random losers
who also made it in with VIP passes and such. there are also various people
from 2nd stage bands getting drunk, and i think we were sitting near Mogwai
for quite awhile, but i don’t really know what they look like, and
saw one of the dudes from Interpol, the one with black hair and the stylin’
cut. so then like, all the alcohol is gone, and i’m like fuck this,
lets go! but then this chick that recognized erin from high school is
like, “my boyfriend heard Robert Smith is gonna come down and hang
out on that couch!” and then tommi goes to the bathroom and sees
him outside the club area (which is still all indoors) mulling about.
so then i find some more beer, and like that lasts about five minutes.
so there is like this security thing, were there are these guards not
letting people go in and out, and one dude was just being an ass to people,
sayin’ you need to have all access passes to really even be there,
blah blah blah! so finally i’m like, ok lets leave, and we just
go out the front where there are people hanging out, and like what do
we got to lose. so we go out, quite easily, and what do you know! there’s
more beer out there, so we open up more beers and then the next thing
we know, hey there’s Robert Smith over to our left.
So i’m like, i dunno know what to say Tommi,
what do i say, should we bug him? ahh fuck, so finally we’re like,
ok let swig some beer and just do it, cuz he’s momentarily alone.
so we go over, and it’s like:
i say, “hey thanks for a good show, we really enjoyed it!”
he stares at us blankly, slowly puts out his hand,
“uh, thanks...”
so now i’m totally nervous and i’m,
ok i’ll just recite what i wanted to say, oh this sounds SO LAME:
“so yeah, like i’m totally glad i got to see you, yr music
really meant a lot to me when i was like in high school (i mean younger
- tommi says that fat bob cringed at this) and i’m like “oh
and i like the new album too, it’s cool.” he stares blankly,
his discomfort incredible audible.
so then i’m like, ok retreat, run the fuck
away. and tommi stays! and is like “yeah i wanted to go see you
guys last night, but is was sold out, i mean i couldn’t make it,
anyway, can i give you a hug?” and he’s like “...sure...”
and so tommi gives him this big old fucking Santa Cruz bear hug, and like
he gives the most meager detached shit ever. so finally tommi runs away
too, and we’re like, god damn, that was so aweful, and we turn around
and he’s gone, and we’re like great, now we scared him away,
oh we are SO LAME, and like, why did i say that high school thing, i should
have said he was a big musical influence or some shit, ahhhhghh!
anyway what we learned are two things! 1. if you don’t want to come out and interact with fans, then don’t, especially if yr drunk or on meds or whatnot, i mean, he seemed pretty together during the show. and 2. if we ever get to the point where people give a shit about us, to always be nice and gracious no matter how dorky the freaks accosting you are. i mean really, here’s a 46 year old man in 25 year old make-up acting like he ain’t never seen a queer boy and a tranny before...either that or he was mesmerized by our beauty and our radiating talent.
7.27.04
MY SELF DOUBT. rock music.
7.16.04
totally stuck on the unfinished songs, and too
uninspired to come up with anything new, here are some acoustic versions
of songs, as well as a new attempt on the you never knew me tune.
corporate
rock (quiet version)
my self doubt (quiet version)
you never knew me
7.12.04
this is what they did to our home on gay pride weekend a couple weeks ago. they done made it a nazi skinhead lair. as follows, scenes from the forthcoming short - MOONSTOMPING!
ahhh, big red swazies everywhere!
genius #1, andre.
genius #2, bildo, err ... nick.
7.6.04
the grand return of seahara.
now with improved drums. moving on...
listening to pj harvey + john parish - dance hall at louse point, been awhile...reading please kill me, an oral history of punk. fuckin’ rad book.
6.25.04
new song:
made with a real piano, courtesy of jimmy of the
motherscratchers at our old house, what freaks. a real soulful piano,
for sure. this has been done since like november, it just needed drums
and better lyrics. so yeah, the drums came real easy, tommi had been home
sick all day and watched this video called liquid drum theater or something
with the drummer from dream theater showing off some of his chops and
shit, and though the music that accompanies the video is horrible journey
derived wankology, and we currently lack a double bass pedal at our disposal,
tommi was still sufficiently inspired to conjure exactly that which was
always there, just not yet audible. yay tommi! anyway, we are now 3 for
3 towards near perfection on the new record, pretty good stats so far,
right?
was listening to echo and the bunnymen’s crocodiles earlier, got a decent copy on vinyl for two bucks! not really familiar with the bunnymen, do like that lips like sugar tune though.
6.24.04
new song coming in the next day or two, given it
receives final approval by tommi. this weekend at our loft our friends
are shooting their skinhead movie, MOONSTOMPING, and our place is the
lair of the evil nazi skinheads. all of our posters gotta be taken down
and i got move the whole recording operation out of the way, semi annoying.
tommi is also staring in the short film, as none other than tommi.
listening to cocteau twins’ blue bell knoll. been spending way to much money on records and not enough on paying down the evil credit card. acquired a compressor though!
6.11.04
new song, i
hate music. an actual song created from start to finish in
less than 2 weeks. built around a drum sample from some people who own
the rights to this bands’ work who would sue the fuck out of us
if we had any money. F’ them anyways. if i had bothered to listen
to that whole danger mouse grey album thing i would know whether or not
the same break was used or not, but that shit was boring. first new song
of 2004 posted here, lame.
listening to some alien tempo experiment 13 demo thing.
6.11.04
me and tommi saw yo la tengo, prince, and acid
mothers temple all in the span of a week. fucking cool.
new song coming.
tracks from Describe are currently featured on
the Go-Little
Records Indie 500 internet radio station.
listening to the Sonic Nurse, highly, highly, highly recommended. i always tend to find each album stronger than the last, probable best thing since daydream nation, up there with washing machine and thousand leaves and dirty.
5.25.04
check out tommi’s pics from deutchland.
check out the uncensored pics.
5.21.04
so like the site is obviously now live on the new
server, that was an annoying fiasco. can’t speak highly for startlogic’s
customer support.
anyway, i’m working 50hrs a week now, and
i am fucking sick of jazz. every fucking night, jazz wankery from people
living in the past. very few acts bring anything new to the genre, it’s
like a fucking time warp oldies show most nights. the worst of the offenders
is the monday night big band, i swear to god a fucking flash back to my
high school jazz band years, two horrid years where i refused to ever
solo. i think solos are wank for the most part. like i dig good musicianship,
but if a band has no chemistry and no tunes, it’s a fucking bitch
to sit there for three hours and listen to their shit noodling. the worst
aspect of the big band is the fact that they are lead by this annoying
little prick who so thinks that he is the shit, when really he is simply
a troll who looks like an ass as his hips slowly gyrate and he stare aimelessly
into the eyes of the audience as he solos on his sax. i had to fucking
bitch slap his ass, figuratively, after he kept coming over and fucking
with my board, not to mention he hella disrespected me in front the audience
acting like i was his fucking sound servent. little asshole. anyway, some
nights the music is pretty cool, but it’s really hit or miss for
the most part. i wish there was more innovation going on, but i guess
that’s not really the market they’re hitting at. the people
i work with are cool though, and so are owners for the most part.
recording is at a stand still for a large part
cuz we’re both working a lot and it seems like i spend a little
to much time bit torrenting takashi miike movies than working on actual
songs. got a lot of mental blockages going on, suppose if things continue
at a standstill or towards mediocrity i’ll be halfway towards giving
up my musical endeavors, either that or writing pop songs for teenagers,
both of which would bring on the same result, not shit. i’ve often
wondered why some semi-successful artists or cult like artist would get
hella bummed out or suicidal in regards to lack of huge success, as in
isn’t making yr music enough. though with the deafening silence
of nothing going on with our audience, any feedback would be great, but
there is no audience, nope. i’d have to say that all i have is the
feeling that everything i do sucks, and it wouldn’t take much to
make it not suck or even great, but that i am not capable of crossing
that threshold. i work at a jazz club and i see more than a few musical
virtuousos, and i can’t even play an instrument more than passable.
my boyfriend has a hell of a natural talent for the drums, yet without
any lessons, or some kind of training, we’re kind of stuck at some
kind of level where the musical communication is really fucking turgid.
i don’t feel depressed, i’m just irritated that i can’t
get my dumb fucking songs to sound the way i want in an effortless manor
that doesn’t take six months to complete and have to do it with
shit equipment and the worry that all my neighbors can hear my awful attempts
at vocals. i’m embarassed by the old stuff, even the describe stuff,
when people ask me to play my stuff, it’s like oh fuck, it all sucks.
enougth of this.
listening to the way of Curve, best of + unreleased thing i paid way too much money for, but hey, they’ve been one of my favorite bands for like a long long time. so what if there are only like 4 songs that i didn’t have already...
5.14.04
so we gots a new server. real quick, FUCK IPOWERWEB, yea StartLogic. seriously,
fuck ipower, they were screwing me. i paid them almost $100 for 150megs
of space, and then i find out that for the same price they now offer 800megs
of space. so i was like gimme my megs, and they were like, renew first,
and i was like fuck that! so i found this startlogic company and now i
got 1gig for $90! and their interface is easier to use and better looking,
and it appears that they offer more options!
anyway, with a bit of trepidation, i’ve upload
my old catalog of shit that i recorded circa 1997-2000. enjoy, most of
it’s shit. all the mp3s are now in 192kbps for yr listening pleasure.
buy a cd, we’ve sold like 5. plz enhance
my ego. i’m tired of looking at them.
i got another job about a week ago. i’m now
working at a jazz club called Jazz at Pearls doing the sound and lights.
it’s pretty fucking cool. though i was real stoked on the musical
exposure at first, i quickly realized that not every night is going to
have a reasonable act. some of these regulars are f’ing wankers,
and i was quickly reminded of everything i hated about high school jazz
band, where i refused to ever solo. i just don’t do that. music
should not be about solo wankery, music is the chemistry within the band,
maaaaannnn. anyway, the job is pretty sweet, and i’m working like
50hrs a week now combined with my other jobbie job, so contrary to the
laws of relativity, we’ll probably be pumping out new music at a
much quicker rate than during my unemployment stretches. i plan to pay
off my god damn credit card, save up some cash, invest in some new gear,
and possibly put out a new record come October, really, for sure. would
like to do something on vinyl rather than get a bunch of cds duped. we
might have a record label interested in us, haha, but that girl don’t
return my emails on a consistent basis.
tommi comes back from deutschland in a couple hours,
yea!
listening to that new skinny puppy, before which i was playing front 242 official version.
oh yeah, got PRINCE TICKETS!!!
5.10.04
hey, changing servers, cuz ipower fucking sucks. gonna try this company
called startlogic and get a gig of server space. thus we can upload all
the old shit for downloading. probably put up some random stuff too, just
for the fuck of it, we’ll see.
4.29.04
most mp3s temporarily down, not sure why my server is being stupid.
4.28.04
we had a party a few days ago. here are some pics we took with our newly
acquired digital camera thing. it was pretty wild. the highlight was 12
fools getting stuck in the elevator for an hour around 2am. the fire department
came, and after fetching a metal coat hanger for them, les and i ran outside
as they toilled away and documented their magnificent vehicle. we had
a lot of kids pass through during night, and it took to 5:30am before
i finally gave up the struggle. the next morning as i lay passed out sleeping
away my hangover, tommi discovered a wrapper in our bathroom trash and
then encounter the used condom underneath said foot. alas the used condom
was empty, how queer? yet, fear not, upon the ritual of brushing teeth,
tommi found the sink to be draining rather slow, and happen stance there
it was, the undiscovered splooge of yonder fore. yeah, we know who the
culprits were too! we failed to document this discovery for yr enjoyment,
sorry, next party.
look, mikey got beer!
this is our living room, don’t put any drinks on the table with my computer, or else!
mikey’s crew
our crew
my girl o'dette, her man ray, and our buddy kevin
me and tony, he’s a lil’ stoned, huh?
mikey and his boy
the only decent picture i got of tommi whilst awake...
why do i look fucking possessed???
so tommi is off to germany for like 2 weeks, after
which we will record drums and only drums, for sure. slow progress as
always, good thing there ain’t no one to anticipate nothing. i will
be hard at work on the tracks, as coming up on seven keepers so far maybe.
listening to squarepusher’s hard normal daddy and music is rotted one note, still don’t get what his fucking deal is.
4/17/04
oops. been a while. didn’t have internet
for like two week, that sucked. moving was a drag, a five day process,
but since getting here, i’ve been very productive and have actually
been working on music on a nearly daily basis. i think the old house was
a vortex, though i miss that damn dog, oh so much! anyway, i’ve
decided to just move forward on making music and getting a new record
together over the next few months. we’re going for a real concise
statement this time, no more than 45 mins, probably between 10-15 songs.
my plan is to just record material until i’ve got 45 mins of tunes
that are perfect, and dump the leftovers elsewhere. we’d like to
do some 7” things, if only we had an audience.
anyway the new songs are all gonna be killer, as
corporate rock is a shining example.
some of the stuff is a bit slower in tempo, and while some stuff is real
raw, i’ve also got stuff in progress with lots of lush layers and
such. using a bit more noise, everything is gonna be a bit more integrated
together, maybe.
that madonna thing is not gonna happen, though one song was kind of appealing.
listening to silkworm - italian platinum.
3/17/04
here be our cd. they are not all completely finished. my ex-friend, soon to be ex-roommate wanted her fucking table that i was using back, so we got about a third of them done, though as they’re not exactly flying out the window or anything...
so this cd that me and tommi have done made, well
you don’t get more indie-er than us, for sure! other than being
about a year too late, due to procrastination and such as to how to publish
the record, we of course decided after looking at our checking accounts
and credit card bills to just do around 100 all ourselves and fore-go
all that expensive discmakers packaging. we actually watched our neighbors
downstairs do the whole discmakers thing, they spent like $3800 on their
“debut double album,” 2 cds which incidently merely hold 67
minutes of music total. weirdos.
so here’s our fucking street cred,
‘aight?
1. we recorded this record at home with our own
gear and equipment.
2. we didn’t have no producer or engineer mix it for us.
3. we refused to blow money mystically mastering the finished mixes.
4. we did the art ourselves or it was supplied by close associates and
did all the heavy lifting via photoshop and such.
5. we designed a cardstock digi-pack and other than having it printed
at a shop up in novato, did all the cutting, folding, and pasting.
6. we used a printing press to make semi-unique covers for each lyric
book.
7. all of the writing in the lyric book (like 28 pages) was hand written,
then scanned and copied on our crummy hp 2200 thingy.
8. each lyric book is bound with hemp-like twine rather than stapled.
9. we burned the cds on our mac, cuz it burns real good.
10. each cd is hand painted with dr ph martin spectralite acrylic paint
and topped off with some acrylic varnish.
11. each package is numbered, we will have a total of only 105 in this
first printing.
so you can buy one if you want. we’re not
counting on this thing to rescue us from our day jobs and general obscurity,
but it might help. i honestly think it’s all pretty ok, though far
from perfect. it’s the best record i could have made at the time.
our new stuff is better. a lot better, not that i’ve worked on it
in like months. i’ve been dealing with subjective writers block
issues and generally failing to apply myself. anyway, we got two songs
that are “finished” that i’m happy with, and like eight
or ten or so that are in various phases of unfinishedness. a few just
need drums, some others need to be completely redone in sections as they
mainly sound like shitty demos. my goal is to get it all done by october,
and it will either be really concise at 45 mins, or another sprawling
80 minute mess, we’ll see how much and what gets recorded once we’re
moved in and set up at our new live/work apartment.
i keep fantasizing about recording madonna’s
american life record and making it not suck, but i’m probably too
lazy to do it. all my equipment seems to be breaking down and i’m
tired of having to switch over to os 9 to record. i seriously need to
upgrade my options and gear, where’s that new credit card offer...
i’m listening to melissa auf der maur’s record, she really should have hired a lyricist, cuz this record wouldn’t be so bad if the words weren’t such shit. it’s totally over produced radio rock, a little artier and fake goth than one would expect, but i doubt there will be a follow-up. it’s better than the courtney love cd though, ha ha! before that i was listening to the new NERD record, and it’s initially disappointing. the songs aren’t as good as the first one, and the musicianship just isn’t there. it doesn’t sound finished, kinda sloppy.
3/17/04
describe cd
now available for sale. i’m tired, more
info later.
fiscerspooner cd numero uno.
3/14/04
so i talked to my friend dorian today, he’s
ok. he’s pretty freaked out over what his father did, but seems
to have a reasonable perspective on things, thankfully. so off of this
tangent...
the cds! well, after much searching, we found some
decent acrylic paint that seems like it will work properly when painted
with a top coat of acrylic varnish. i have learned that real cds made
with a press are done with ink in a machine that uses heat seating or
some shit. thus our alternative. so we have to do all of the painting,
which means another week delay or something. they’ll be done when
they’re done.
oh yeah, we got a new place and we’re moving
in about two weeks. it’s a hella posh live/work loft apartment,
WAY TOO EXPENSIVE. but given the price of shitty apartments and then the
price of renting a practice space on top of that, i suppose we made the
most prudent decision. now if i just had another job where i worked more
than 12 hours a week. i’m currently flat broke and oh a shit load
of money to various evil entities. fuckin’ finding a job right now
is so lame and shitty as there are like 50 people applying to ever job
i find not horrible. i’m really bumming out.
listening to gary numan aka tubeway army - replicas, hot shit for sure!
3/14/04
so here’s the surreal shit. big news story blah blah blah, dude in fresno kills nine of his kids. crazy shit. well like, i’m pretty close to this fuck’s oldest son, and i feel really fucking bad for him. we’re actually really close, in this totally fucked up way, but i seriously feel bad for him and hope that he’s ok. as soon as i saw the headline and started reading the story off of google and recognized the last name, i was like, oh shit, that’s dorian’s dad, oh fuck! like fucking panicked man! i immediately called his house in santa cruz and spoke to his room mate, whom i had never really ever engaged in conversation before, due to my negative perception of him, mainly that i was under the impression that he’s a crazed religious nut. well he was actually rather nice to me today and we had a pleasant conversation and he gave me the low down that dorian was not one of the victims. anyway, it’s really not place to go into this stuff, but since no one reads this anyway, this dude that killed his kids is for sure a real piece of work. my boy dorian is one of the most gayest motherfuckers you’ll ever meet, and he’s so incredibly fucking traumatized from whatever he endured by this monster during his childhood. i really don’t know much other than the dude was violent and domineering, instilling fucked up notions of ultra-masculinity, of course i suspect sexual abuse, but that’s never been confirmed. most of my friends wonder why i’m friends with dorian, cuz he’s at times, well always, socially fucked up, immature, and generally a pain in the ass to deal with. but deep down he’s really a sweet innocent puppy that just wants to be happy and loved. it’s sad. we’re kinda star-crossed or some shit, and i have a real strong connection with him (no matter how many times i’ve tried to get him out my life or vice versa), but it’s just never been possible for me to give him and be who he wants/needs me to be, cuz it’s like that erykah badu song where she’s like - see ya next lifetime. once we had a thing where we agreed to be secret boyfriends, and to me it was kind of a joke, but i didn’t realize how seriously he took it until after i failed to live up to his expectations, or momentarily connected with someone else and he was not the center of attention, or some stupid drama. anyways, i feel real bad for him, and hope that he’s gonna be ok and eventually distance himself from this fucked up monster who will spend the rest of his life in prison, and hopefully no longer be able to control him in any way or form. hopefully, he will be able to transcend some of his fears and internalized issues, i really dunno...
postal service cd.
3/7/04
we went and saw rufus wainwright play last night. without a doubt, we would both do bad things to him all over his body, for sure. he is just so adorable and dreamy.
the cd refuses to be done. the booklets are finished, we just got ink from brooke to silk screen the cds, we'll see if it works.
still looking for affordable housing and work in sf...bloody hell.
listening to the stereo mcs - deep down + dirty. kinda sucks, ok i guess, whatever.
3/3/04
fun with flash. fun with making these wretched cds. booklets are almost done, they look nice. me and tommi are still figuring out how we're gonna silk screen onto the cds, hopefully it'll be a weekend adventure.
we're moving out of this house of mice. long story short, we strong armed our slumlords into letting us out of the lease, for sure. looking for a new place, affordable, and practicble, and near downtown, with parking. is that too much to ask for?
couple weeks ago it seemed like a real band type 4 person thing was taking shape, then stuff happened. probably shouldn't go into the details too much, but like fuck it, as long as me + tommisita can pull things off ourselves, that must be a testiment to something...anyways, things are as fluid as always, guess we'll find stable musicians to boss around when we're meant to.
elvis costello - blood + choclate, patti smith - easter, monster magnet - monolithic baby, atari teenage riot - burn berlin burn. all at the same time, yeah.
2/16/04
cd booklets are coming along. realized that my printer prints really slow. gonna start burning the actual cds soon. done by the end of the month maybe.
we played with a bass player yesterday. he was nice.
listening to massive attack blue lines. was my bloody valentine all day.
2/9/04
ok, so like it has been a process doing this cd
thing, but it’s almost there, kinda. the card case thingies are
done, they took a week or so to cut and glue and such, but they look really
nice, the print job came out really well, real colorful and such, for
sure. so, the next steps are getting the booklets together and burning
and silkscreening the cds. the words were all hand written out, cuz i’m
insane, and are all sitting on my harddrive, just need to organize them
and print out 1400 sheets. we’re gonna go print the covers of the
booklets tomorrow with a printing press over at brooke’s house,
they’ll each probably be semi-unique. so hopefully, if these last
steps get rolling along, the thing should be done before the end of the
month.
we’ve started practicing with brooke, and
it’s going really well. we’re gonna move too, cuz our room
mate has totally lost any ability to act mature or rational, or basically
i’m thru trying to maintain a facade of friendship after certain
bullshit, and this house and neighborhood sucks. also looking for a new
job, AGAIN, which totally fucking sucks.
listening to this tricky bootleg bside comp called made in bristol, got it off off suprnova, it’s all early stuff, before he lost it.
1/14/04
the show we played last weekend went really well. if you know me, and you could have made it, well, you like suck. we did have a strong showing of 4 friends, really honored that they came, glad we didn't suck, not that the lil' indie faux punk scensters could have given a shit, whatever. i did 3 songs solo, and then me and tommi did 9 songs together. missed the 2nd band, they seemed kinda pretentious, Up the Voltage from santa cruz were really good though, very high energy. the "headlining" band were these jackasses from wisconson called Modern Machines. you see, the kids at the house forgot to secure a PA, i of course am always prepared, and thus being a nice guy, was easy cajolloed into letting the other bands utilize my meager setup. fucking, these wankers had there shitty guitars turned up so loud, that they kept bumping up the vox to the point of feedback for their entire set. the tweeter on my speaker is now partially fucked, it's not too major, but i am annoyed. more frustrating is some how the 1/4" jack on the first channel of my power amp is somehow broken on the inside, the xlr input is still good, but i'm not sure if this is within my realm of capabilities to repair. that thing i paid good money for! NEVER AGAIN am i sharing my equipment with strangers, FUCK 'em.
finishing up the art for the cd thing, so yes, totally diy, fuck it. hopefully gonna check out a color printing shop tomorrow or friday.
listening to air's new record that ain't even out yet. it's quite good, i never got around to purchasing any of their records, like moon safari, always intended to investigate them. now i have new music to nap to, yea! their use of banjo is quite choice.
1/8/04
show, saturday jan 10 2004 - 58 tehama st san francisco.
don’t know who we’re playing with, guess we’re going
first, probably around 10 or 11pm, cuz their shows start late. it’s
probably gonna be $5 bucks, yeah.
i got tommi a 6-string lefty bass for xmas, finally
came the other day. it’s red, and huge.
listening to 808 state, been obessed with kylie minogue lately.
archived news 2001 ... ancient history - real old shit