ok, so here’s where we start. i had been recording stuff with my friend al (aka alba), a very talented drummer and wacko i had met through putting up a flyer looking for musicians. anyway after our fake band with my room mate dave on bass fell apart, we just kept sporadically recording stuff through 1997-98. the other half of this material is comprised of stuff i did on my own at the ucsc ems studio with midi-programming and a fuckin’ adat through 98 to early 99. without a doubt the tunes with al are way more produced and better sounding. some of the stuff i did on my own is almost all in mono. anyway, i wouldn’t characterize this stuff as unlistenable, as some of it is i guess kinda fun, but there are a lot of poor or strange choices. adjective was originally going to be the name of my band, and i thought of switching back to it recently, but tommi nixed the idea citing it as worse a band name than parae. my singing really pretty mediocre are all of these tunes, i should have been trying harder. available previously as mp3s, the masters are currently sitting in a crate in my attic where it will stay for awhile.

3 guys

never never

harsh

swish

untitled-44

stimulation

just like wings from a moth

bisexual lover

i lost my true love a long time ago

stellar

Tracks 1, 4, 7, 8, + 10 created @ Happy Guy Productions, Santa Cruz and Vista CA.

Tracks 2, 3, 5, 6, + 9 created @ UCSC EMS, Santa Cruz CA

Track 1 created March 1997.

Tracks 2, 6, and 9 created Spring 1998, with addition production Feb-Mar 1999.

Track 3 created May 1998.

Tracks 4 and 8 created Aug-Sep1998.

Track 5 created April 1998.

Track 7 created January 1998, with additional production September 1998.

Track 10 created Oct-Dec 1997.

created by eriq, with:

Track 1 produced recorded and mixed by Alba with eriq
arranged by eriq, Alba. and Dave Horn.
Dave Horn- electric bass
Alba - drums

Track 2 with Andrew Mastronarde - additional electric guitar

Track 4 produced, recorded and mixed by eriq with Alba
Alba - balloon drum, synth drums, additional beat programming and processing

Track 7 produced, recorded and mixed by Alba and eriq

Alba - acoustic drum kit, drum programming, vocoder programming

Track 8 produced, recorded and mixed by eriq and Alba
Alba - acoustic drum kit, percussion, accordion
Zoe Somebody - slide flute

Track 10 produced, recorded and mixed by Alba and eriq
Alba - drums, percussion, fx

All sonics created with :

Vocals, Electric and Acoustic Guitars, Electric Bass, Analog Synthesizers, Digital Keyboards, Beat Samples and Programming, FX processing, Drums, Percussion and such.

Recorded with ADAT, Cakewalk, and/or some other primitive digital audio shit.

Total Time 50:58

Cover Painting by Antonio Ayala, 1998.
copyright 1997, 1998, 1999 parae / para soniq records / www.parae.org

three guys

three guys walk into a bar
two together, one alone
the one is wearing the most revealing dress
and how does she look - simply fabulous

yeah maybe they were in the wrong place for what
what they wanted originally, but hey
so the two guys cross el roomo
“may i buy you a drink” they say
“why? are you thirsty?” she said
this one would be good enough to share

so they went back to her place to have a little fun
and as she beckoned them onward, the two young men eagerly obliged

now her apartment was quite the dream
or at least the bedroom had a red light going
and as she sat the two boys down, she began a little strip tease
the two young men were oh so surprised to find what they did see
and she said “well what do you think?”
they just stared, and nodded their heads.

tommy the transsexual will live in our hearts forever
tommy shall always have a place in our souls
tommy will be in our hearts forever
for she is our goddess

never never

never never, never never, thoroughly of malady
never never, never never, following from falling
never never, never never, direction in decrease
never never, never never, still born even at last
never never, never never, cursed be the past future
never never, never never, destroyed was the worship

running, falling, away into entrapment
lost, forever, reaching the zenith
through the forest i ran away towards the endless skies
across the desert between the oasis into swamp green mist

never never, never never, oh here it goes again
never never, never never, trying endlessly to end
never never, never never, slow around the electric
never never, never never, always reaching higher than high

harsh

and with the sweetness and the light
abstaining weakness and penchant foresight
i conceptualized a masterpiece of aforementioned sound
built to last until rubble and weeds covered the ground
of which we laid upon as i visualized a waking dream
under a castle’s shadow and a sunlight clouded beam
this picture painted with one soft stroke
the perfect image vanquished when i woke
up today, i said hey to the mirror
i guess i don’t look that bad after all, and i
started to question, my body image
but decided that would be better not to think too much
just stare blankly and try not to perceive
for who am i to judge which illusion i should believe
i looked out my window and was blinded by the sight
once again disappointed by the shade of sunlight

it was harsh, the light the morning, the dawn
withered and writhing

blank, vague, before i woke i was under a deep blue thing
behind the sub-universe the cold air did not sting
but the dead old motif was that the world was not what it had seemed
once again reality was different than what i had dreamed
full of greater distances and elaborate distractions
the earth more concrete and the air filled with abstractions
the roads were longer, the paths desirably real
but when i was touched, i still could not feel
even though the light was brighter
my face was duller, and the others shrouded in the dark
still it was better than feeling and thinking
losing these memories was the loss of my control
broken fragments reminiscent of inane cosmic speak
these shards of sadness reminding me that i am weak
i was already broken before i woke
even yesterday it was still the same joke

it was harsh, the light the morning, the dawn
withered and writhing

my thinking got too complex for any linear thought
the answers didn’t match the questions that i sought
and when i tried to be honest, i lied
and when i tried to lie, my honesty never died
betrayed by anything forward and straight
failure was the maintenance when i would try to create
something memorable, something real
something that could make dreamed pains heal
the mirror is harsh
but not as harsh as my self consciousness
and what i hate most of all
is when i remember that i am stuck to an image
i can’t control what others might see
in various misperceptions of what might be me
justice is held within desire and fate
and sleep is what i really truly hate
it was harsh, the light the morning, the dawn
withered and writhing

swish

c’mon pop star, sing me a song
tell me about your love so very long
and oh oh boy, your slick sexy moves make my nipples hard
if it was true, well feathers and tar
now firm belly boy, be honest with me
a two way mirror for those that see
so many demographics, oh whatever
one quite fashionable, the other ready to wear

so as i sing tonight in stormy weather
i am masked by false words, fur, make-up and leather
sending out my love, to the one that i adore
on the silver screen, making teenage hearts soar

i could sing sweet melodies for teenage girls
flutter mine eyes for pure hearts of pearls
seduce a nations worth of desperate tender parts
prince charming come about now, for the false dream starts
blonde hair, blue eyes, pure white skin and a dashing grin
don’t you redneck boys wish you were lucky like him?
and all the girls must be perfect, from muff to hair
you got to keep attention so they’ll stare and stare

but you are too cute to die, and too cute to be so straight
so let your defenses go, come and disintegrate
the only truth i know and surely a lie i wish
the cutest one is always, always a swish

i know you’re looking, looking at me
trying to figure out what the hell it is you see
maybe you’ll see your self staring right back at you
if anything, you could question your own miniscule reality

so tell me what is right, and what is wrong
me and my posse will still be coming along
destroying ancient puritanical tradition
and embracing every midwestern abhorition

i’m sorry i’m not the girl you wish i was
and i can’t be the man you pretend to see

untitled-44

probably, no, maybe not
where can you run?
when there’s no gun
lost second soul sightstimulation

stimulation

stimulation - masturbation
never say
a word

there was once a king
came from far away
just like you and me
he pleasured himself occasionally

and the door slammed shut
the floor rumbled up-up
never say a word
not to anyone

with grace, with grace
steady there, my boy

this song i wrote today
because i wore a shirt
a strange little shirt
a weird little shirt

with grace, with grace
steady there, my boy
away, away, to a far off place
to go, to go, to a magic place

i’ve got enough songs about myself
it’s good enough to just fake the truth

goodnight, my love, forever

just like wings from a moth

a beating bleeding body there
hold sweet sugar further push that
camera real ready sight eye
roll film money cash lust view sat
open forced orifice into
push sweet voyeur love to floor whore
rip the clothes soon quick break remove
naked nude human vulnerable

hold down sweet cheeks
friend near slow end
gone soon today
arms tired, voice cried

snuff out the life
slow torture die
innocent moth
camera eye

raped bleeding cut skin pool mucus
color eye see stench no capture
raw meat still exposed and living
voice sounds harsh pierce sometimes meek lost

needle pops the eye and pokes brain
torn ear slashed nipple and blood dries
gun pulled semen drips body fowled
shot cries head breaks eye looks then stops

snuff out the life
slow torture die
innocent moth
camera eye

another day just it was last
body dead for eye to tape see
a life gone now meaning repulsed
moth wing torn pus puddle spreads dries

slip take in for face of death watch
masturbatory purpose you
enjoy screen sheen precious life took
fowl sweet body ever so weak

bisexual lover

in the dark - i beg you for more
so turn on the lights - and lets get on the floor

my bisexual lover
came to my door
and my bisexual lover
took my hand, and blew me a kiss

all there ever was before you
did not exist, no it twasn’t true
but then one magic day
well what can i say?

let me say that i had me a dream
that it finally happened to me
the next i got hit by a car
oh how time just moves so fast

it was so tragic
so dramatic
so traumatic
and just like magic - i woke up

my bisexual lover
came to my door
and my bisexual lover
took my hand, and blew me a kiss
so my bisexual lover
can’t we stay her forever
cause oh my sweet, i don’t want to grow old alone
cause oh my sweet, i don’t want to end up bitter
with a broken heart

because my world would be so much darker than it was before
and i could never survive if i faced reality

in this place - together we lay
i feel your face - it’s more than words can say

my bisexual lover
came to my door
and my bisexual lover
took my hand, and blew me a kiss
so my bisexual lover
can’t it be the way it was before
cause i’ve grown old and bitter
and i suffer the world alone
with a broken
slightly jaded
somewhat stone dead heart

i lost my true love a long time ago

johan paulik must be destroyed
never again can we leave youth to restless abandon
thy name has slain and created shame
all in the name of art

my friend
all my boys
stand now
hands down

strange fruits
alligator teeth
under skin and eyes
truths beneath

twisted that erection
to a pornography direction
oh you’re so fine
won’t you please be mine

those frisky hands
moving into risky sands
not everything is bland
in an exotic land

you see, i lost my true love a long time ago
and i lost my mind
and i lost control
of any fate there once was - is now long gone

think bone
sprawling cavalcade
loster march
pure broken fag

stellar

oh my rage, my rage
i lost my heart, so i turn away
look in my eyes, we’ll see who flied
naiveté, naiveté

touch my skin

oh just fuck, the world to hell
i don’t want to see myself
anymore and any day, i wish i could go away
i lost my heart, so i turn away from you

perfection, reflection, acceptance, disguise

oh my shell, it’s thicker than yours
a constant question, bewilderment became dull
oh my rage, it’s bigger than all
everything is frozen, identity - now see

perfection, reflection, acceptance, disguise

i saw your eyes, i could not penetrate
a plastic face, with no emotional range
i can not win, i accept defeat
someday my love, you will change your mind